Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Apotheosis

Here is my new long-term projects, which I expect to put into practice as soon as it gets a little warmer in our excellent Canadaian icebox. I plan to walk the streets. I plan to seek out quiet or forgotten places: alleys, rooftops, power transfer stations, highway underpasses, tunnels, etc., and I plan to sit there and think. Maybe to meditate. And then everything will float up into the air and revolve around me. No longer will I be just one out of an army of beardos meekly pumping their fists at some ear-bleed-inducing show, no: I will be transmogrified, reaching my inner superhero. And I will go around saving the old and poor and meek, making them realize that a place can be a space if only enough thought is put into it. And I will hop the rooftops, or underpasses, or sewers or what you will, slaying potential Chairman Maos before they hatch from the wicked lizard queen's secret nests under Queen's Park. And I will also palnt functional gardens, making the schools of Theology boil over with wave after wave of squash or wheat advancing mercilessly to suck the calcium out of the limestone walls. I will distribute pamphlets about sexual liberation to children in coffee shops and will organize cell after cell of the upcoming drunken soccer hooligan revolution. I will airdrop into the Gaza Strip and debate Imams for weeks on end until they renounce violence and let the guilty Israeli youth have their revenge. And I will drain the seas and desalinify them, thereby averting the resource wars of the 21st century, or alternately I could sit up in the center for boimolecular research and grow kidneys-plus, whose nephrons could produce urine at an osmolarity of 3000 mOsm, which sounds irrelevant until you realize that such a nephron would allow humans to drink seawater without any adverse consequences. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, trust the expert. Or you could spend 10 minutes doing some research. Your choice. You know what I want you to do.

Where did I get so unrealistic?

Consider: "A young [black] man walks through chest deep floodwater after looting a grocery store in New Orleans... meanwhile two [white] residents wade through chest-deep water after finding bread and soda from a local grocery store after Hurricane Katrina came through the area in New Orleans..."

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