Almost-death
In my defense, this is not the safest of neighbourhoods; I'm sure I've mentioned our resident crackheads, also the local parkette, so popular with the heroin crowd (well, not in winter; obviously), or the psychiatric insititute down the street, or our homeless people of all varieties: shameless or angry or resigned or happy (one time I was telling a joke about statistics, and this homeless lady laughed, and then told me a joke of her own) or insane. Not to even mention the damn hooligan kids who overturn our garbage, or the raccoons who do the same. Or maybe it's the fact that two years ago this house was on the local news beacuse of a stabbing.
So you might understand why, as I was preparing to head of to sleep the other day, I was terrified by the sound of screaming and falling (tumbling of some sort) from the basement. It woke up almost everyone else on our floor. And for a few minutes I honestly thought there was an axe-murderer (or some other variety of murderer) in the house. But it was not so. As we listened intently through the laundry vent, we heard the screams of terror turn to screams of glee. So we all spent the next half hour trying to figure out what the hell was going on. (I should mention the screaming was fairly constant.) We developed at least four distinct scenarios: (1) someone had taken too much of some mind-altering drug and had to overcome the initial shock on their system, which would explain the terror to glee transition (2) hot sex of some sort, possibly involving S&M, possibly lesbian or three-way, which would explain the three distinct voices (3) a mouse or rat was loose in the basement, which accounts for the pleas to "do something!" or (4) hot laundry at 3 a.m., because we did hear talk of socks and the laundry machines rattled, and this all seemed to happen in the laundry room.
The next morning, someone went down to sleuth out what the hell happened. We found no clues, except one: all the towels were missing. What does this prove?
Consider: "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
So you might understand why, as I was preparing to head of to sleep the other day, I was terrified by the sound of screaming and falling (tumbling of some sort) from the basement. It woke up almost everyone else on our floor. And for a few minutes I honestly thought there was an axe-murderer (or some other variety of murderer) in the house. But it was not so. As we listened intently through the laundry vent, we heard the screams of terror turn to screams of glee. So we all spent the next half hour trying to figure out what the hell was going on. (I should mention the screaming was fairly constant.) We developed at least four distinct scenarios: (1) someone had taken too much of some mind-altering drug and had to overcome the initial shock on their system, which would explain the terror to glee transition (2) hot sex of some sort, possibly involving S&M, possibly lesbian or three-way, which would explain the three distinct voices (3) a mouse or rat was loose in the basement, which accounts for the pleas to "do something!" or (4) hot laundry at 3 a.m., because we did hear talk of socks and the laundry machines rattled, and this all seemed to happen in the laundry room.
The next morning, someone went down to sleuth out what the hell happened. We found no clues, except one: all the towels were missing. What does this prove?
Consider: "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
posted by A. D. at 11:50 AM
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